Small Simple Words
by Faces-in-the-Hall
Summary: Going through the alphabet: one word a chapter! Remus X Sirius. Review and give me a word suggestion! WARNING: lots and lots of FLUFF! CHAPTER 2 UP: The Birds and the Bees
1. Chapter 1

Small Simple Words

A series of RL/SB stories

By Faces-in-the-Hall

AN: Hi there, this account is my second on fanfiction. I've been on this site since 2003, but this an account exclusively for Harry Potter fanfiction.

Each chapter of this story is going to center around a single word. I'm going to go from A-Z. That'll be fun. It doesn't matter the word. I would really like for people to give me words in reviews. It really doesn't matter the word… I'll figure something else.

Another note, the chapters will be from any era. Enjoy!

Prologue: Alphabet Soup

_Order of the Phoenix_

"Reeeeeeeeeeeeeemus! Can you bring me my soup pleeeeeeeeeeeease?" a voice called for the third time that morning.

"I'm coming Sirius!" Remus called from the kitchen. He was holding a tray full of scalding hot soup, the way his boyfriend liked it. He balanced the tray on his hip as he began to ascend the staircase. His left leg was limping pathetically as Remus climbed stair by stair. The full moon had been only two nights before. Although Remus's joints were aching from the added weight of the tray, he persevered. Sirius always took care of him after the full moon; it was only right for him to do the same for his lover.

_And they say idiots can't get colds?_ Remus thought. His long time "buddy" Sirius Black had woken up that early December morning sniffling and sneezing away. His eyes, normally so bold and defiant had a beaten and submissive glance. Remus immediately sent Sirius back to bed with the promise of soup. That had been an hour ago. Remus could not find any of Molly's homemade soup form the night before, so he searched on his hands and knees for some canned soup. He finally found a can of Alphabet Soup in the furthest corner of the cupboard.

"Remus, don't forget my crackers!" Sirius called from his room.

"_Now he tells me"_ Remus thought. Remus climbed back down the stairs and grabbed a pack of saltines from the cabinet and threw them on the tray unceremoniously. Unfortunately, a corner of the packet caught the soup and splashed unconventionally hot soup all over the tray, napkin, and Remus.

Remus swore under his breath as he cleaned himself off, got a new napkin for his "dear hubby", and wiped the tray down. He picked up the tray again and began to waddle toward the stairs. He stopped when he saw a grumpy, disheveled Sirius Black standing in the doorway.

"What are you doing out of bed?" Remus asked, a tad aggravated by his lover's impatience.

"Gonna get my soup," Sirius grumbled as he walked past Remus and grabbed the tray.

"Hey! I was going to come up!" Remus defended, crossing his arms as his lover walked into the parlor, carrying the heavy metal tray with ease. Sirius plopped down on the sofa and began to eat.

"I just decided to come get it myself…" Sirius said.

"But if you just waited five seconds I could have brought it to you!" Remus said, sliding down next to his lover, placing his hands on his head, completely exasperated.

"I doubt it, not in your condition," Sirius responded, dipping his cracker in his soup.

"There is nothing wrong with me!" Remus snapped, twirling to look at Sirius.

"You don't think I saw that limp? You're the one who should be in bed, mate," Sirius responded, staring down into his soup.

"But you never get sick, you have to take this stuff seriously!" Remus said, standing up and walking behind the ancient sofa in frustration.

"It's just a cold for crying out loud!" Sirius shouted, jumping to his feet. His throbbing headache did not respond positively to the sudden movement, he began to feel lightheaded.

"But you have just been living in a cave for a year! You have to start taking care of yourself! What can you do for Harry if you don't take care of yourself first?" Remus cried, knowing immediately that it was the wrong thing to say.

Sirius plopped down on the sofa and ran a hand through his long black hair. "Remus… you might be right… but don't you think you're being a tad hypocritical?"

"What? I'm the one who lies in bed moping after the full moon, forcing you to take care of me?" Remus said, plopping back down, grabbing at his hair.

"Remus…" Sirius began softly, catching Remus off-guard "You need to take care of yourself too, you're out there doing Order work and breaking up fights between me and Snivelous. The Order needs you…"

"But you have Harry to take care of and no one wants to see you get sick over something that can be completely prevented and healed! Where as I…" Remus replied frantically, he was always giving this lecture.

"But Remus, I don't want you to get sick over something that can be completely prevented and healed," Sirius spoke even quieter and held both of Remus's hands tightly.

"But Sirius, there is no cure for lycanthropy…"

"Not that. I don't want to see you get more injured from your limp and the pain in your joints. I know you're still hurting from two nights ago," whispered Sirius as he leaned in and kissed Remus's neck. The werewolf said nothing.

After a long time of Sirius kissing and Remus squeezing gently at his lover's hands, Sirius finally spoke; "Remus, look in the bowl."

Remus pulled the tray over and glanced into the bowl. All that remained were eight small, noodle letters in the dregs of broth at the bottom. Eight soggy letters spelled 'I LOVE YOU'. Remus began to laugh and said "That is the corniest thing I've ever seen Sirius. I love you too mate!"

"Now if someone could have stopped being a nervous nelly over a damn tray and some soup, I could've gotten to that way faster!" Sirius smirked, bending down and kissing his lover on the lips.

"No, you have a cold! You said you didn't want me to get sick over something preventable!" Remus shouted playfully, retreating back to the decorative.

"But it's healable!" Sirius playfully shouted.

"Stop it!"

"No!"

"Yes!"

"Ahem!" a sharp female voice called.

"Uh… hi Molly…" Remus called, pushing Sirius off of his chest.

"Yeah. Hi Molly," Sirius said shortly.

"What of the children were here? Do you know how irresponsible you're being?" Molly nagged.

"Maybe they would knock before barging in," Sirius replied conversationally.

"Sirius!" Remus scolded sharply.

Sirius laughed his usual barklike laugh as he grabbed the heavy tray and tossed it into the sink. Hours later, the sink was filled with a tray, a bowl with a bunch of soggy letters, on closer inspection reading L IVUO EOY, silverware, and a can of empty alphabet soup.

-

So, what d you think? Send me an object that begins with B! I'll pick the best one and write about it! Thank you very much!


	2. Chapter 2

Small Simple Words

By Faces-in-the-Hall

AN: I just got two great suggestions in the first few hours of writing the first chapter! The suggestions were _because _from lovefan81 and _The Birds and the Bees _from Velloute. I couldn't resist! This is going to be HILARIOUS! Suggestions for the letter C!

Chapter One: Because of the Birds and the Bees

Harry, Remus, and Sirius were sitting on a couch in The Most Noble and Ancient House of Black one bright afternoon in the middle of August. Sirius and Remus had rehearsed a speech about girls, intercourse, and the debauchery that tempts with teenagers minds. While it may have sounded like a load of hypocrisy coming from two of Hogwarts biggest flirts, the two felt it was important for them to educate Harry of "The Birds and the Bees".

"What's this all about? I was going to go outside…" Harry said as his godfather and former professor.

"We would just like to have a quick-."

"It won't exactly be "quick" Remus…" Sirius interrupted.

"But we thought that we should give you "the talk" while you're here…" Remus said.

"Oh. No." Harry replied.

"And why not?" Sirius asked.

"Because it will be awkward! That's why!" Harry replied.

"But we can help you out with things like girls… and stuff," Sirius said lamely.

"I think I'm all set on that "stuff" thanks," Harry said, starting to get up from the couch, but Sirius gently pushed him back down.

"Now Harry, Remus and I went through great lengths to memorize this little spiel, so just do us a favor and listen please," Sirius said. Harry sat back down with a faint grumble. "Now Harry, girls may seem "funny" or "incomprehensible" now, but trust me, they will never change. So don't bother trying. I can't tell you how many times I just asked that girls would just become easier to deal with, but all I got was a foot in my face!"

"Okay. Girls are stubborn, got it," Harry said quickly.

"But trust me Harry, you will one day find the girl for you! Hopefully when some of the dreaded hormones pass…" Remus said.

"Sure," replied Harry. "Can I go outside now?"

"Hold on, Harry, there are uh a few more things we need to discuss… namely… what happens when you… get..." Sirius began.

"When you get excited down there," Remus said quickly, earning himself a glare from Sirius.

"Didn't we agree to NOT say that one. It sounds like Harry is five!" Sirius argued. Remus gave him the 'let-it-go-Sirius' face. "Whatever, moving right along… we know the sex ed class at Hogwarts might say that sex is one hundred percent not allowed and that you will get pregnant…"

"Well, not you specifically, but your little girlfriend…" Remus interjected.

"Or your shagmate" said Sirius.

"Look Harry, there's a special thing that you have to wear…" Remus explained, reaching into his leather bag and pulling out a small wrapper with a bright red latex circle in the middle. Remus opened it up to show Harry.

"It looks like a balloon… how is that going to fi-," Harry began.

"It will, trust me," Sirius said plainly, with the faintest smirk on his lips. With that, Remus pulled a banana out of his bag and pulled the condom over the banana.

"Ewww! Remus, that is disgusting! Can we change the subject please!" Harry said quickly.

"Okay, how about to AIDS, the pill, or my personal favorite; sex, the "movies", and you!" Sirius said, nearly bursting out laughing.

"Sirius…" Remus warned. "Let's not overwhelm the poor boy now…"

"I've got a question… if you two were so popular when you were my age and could get any girl you wanted, why did you decide to… go with each other?" Harry asked, in the utmost seriousness.

"Because," the two men replied.

"Because why?" Harry asked.

"Well, Harry, now that I'm older and a significant amount grayer, girls don't find me attractive…" Remus said, quite embarrassed.

"And I probably would be able to get laid if I wasn't covered in Azakaban tattoos and because of my new, slender physique…" Sirius began. He paused when he got a stare from Remus. "And because I'm old…"

"You're not THAT old," Harry said to their defense.

"Thank you Harry, but we really are getting on in years…" Remus began.

"Okay, so are we done now?" Harry asked as he stood up from the sofa and headed toward the door.

"Uhhh…" Remus replied, looking towards Sirius.

"Yeah… go do whatever…" Sirius resigned. Harry cheered and ran out of the sitting room. He turned back and muffled a quick "Thanks."

"Well… that was interesting…" Remus said, rising from the couch.

"Yeah… I'm not really too worried, he knows what he's doing… I think" Sirius said, smirking in spite of himself.

"He'll be fine." Remus put a hand on Sirius's shoulder.

"Hey Remus, do you remember getting the talk from your Dad?" Sirius asked.

"Yes. I do."

"What do you think your Dad would say about us being together?" Sirius looked into Remus's eyes.

"I don't know. He probably would not agree with my lifestyle. But he was not as bad as your Dad was Sirius." Remus replied.

"Yeah, Dad's probably rolling over in his grave now…"

"Sirius don't say stuff like that!"

Yeah, so that's chapter 2. I don't think it's the best writing I've ever done, and its really short… but I figured it was long enough… I think I made Harry a little too defiant, but I think that Sirius and Remus would become father figures to Harry so… I dunno… I'm a little too tired to be writing… If someone would be willing to beta for me… I'd appreciate it, but I'm not desperate… I just think my writing has not been as good as it could be…


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